1. HOW IS HE REAL:
Burro: Hey, while I'm home, can you teach me to use the stove?
Me: Oh my god, you want to learn to cook?! Yes, YES, let's pick some of your favorite dishes and I'll show you how to make them--oh my god, what about the beef stew with the bacon and the red wine, you love that--
Burro: Wait, hold up--okay, I don't want to risk
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